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By Anthony Malibu
It’s your worst nightmare: your ex dumps you and immediately starts dating another girl. You never got a chance to fix your break up, or make him miss you, or convince him that you should still be together. And now your ex has a new girlfriend; someone he’s taking to the same places he took you, doing the same things without you. So how do you get your ex back from another girl?
The quest to date your exboyfriend is often tough, but winning him back from another woman is even harder. Not only do you have to overcome his desire for this new girl, but you’ve also got to make him want to date you again in the first place. What are the best ways to accomplish this? By subterfuge. Hey, all’s fair in love and war.
While I don’t advocate playing games or attempting mind tricks to win back an ex, when your ex is in a new relationship the situation requires special attention. Whether you just broke up or whether you’ve been apart for a while, you’ll need to establish a rather unique form of contact with your exboyfriend. You’ll have to reconnect with him on a different, less public level than ever before. And he’ll need to trust you, because any contact with you – his exgirlfriend – won’t exactly be something he’ll be disclosing to his new love.
You’ll first need to have removed yourself from the situation for a while. As much as that hurts, you’re not going to pull your ex back from his current girlfriend in the honeymoon stages of their new relationship. Only after some time has passed, and the newness has worn off, will he be susceptible to you winning him back. And even then, he’s going to be cautious of any contact you make with him. If your ex knows you still love him, you’ll have to convince him that you’ve moved on. Not completely, but at least on some levels. Only then will he be comfortable that you’re not going to torpedo his new relationship by sabotaging it from within.
But you’re going to do that anyway.
Getting back together with your ex is the ultimate goal here, but you’ll have to take that journey in smaller strides. Your first stop? Getting in touch with him. When your ex-boyfriend is dating someone else, one of the best ways to do this is through email. You’ll need to come up with a reason to contact him: maybe he left something at your place, or maybe his birthday is coming up, or maybe you’ve got a question about something he would know about. Make your first email short, sweet, and to the point. It has to be quick and casual, but still require a friendly response from your ex. And when he does send you back a response, you can string the conversation along slowly by asking him how he’s been, or by telling him something interesting that happened during the time you’ve been apart.
Establishing an underground email repoire with your ex is a juicy way of reconnecting without his girlfriend any the wiser. Don’t ask about her either, let him tell you. This will come very slowly, because he’ll be conscious of your opinions on her. Most important? You can’t say a single bad thing about his new woman. Anything you do or say that’s negative will be taken as jealousy, and your ex will forever guard his new flame from you. He’ll cut your communication down to the most annoying small talk, and you’ll never get anywhere.
Keep the lines of communication open between you and your ex. Emails will turn into phone calls, generally at a time when his girlfriend is not around. Be happy to hear from him, but don’t be desperate. Laugh, have fun, and make sure he does too. The more comfortable you get with him, the better. It will be nice for him to talk to you again, especially since you’re not being judgemental. Your exboyfriend will be floored by how totally cool you’re handling everything, and this will stick in his mind. Good. You’ve just placed yourself back in his head.
As things progress, your ex will begin to open up to you. You’re not only someone he knows on a very personal level, you’re also someone he trusts. Maybe your ex will come to you for opinions on things. Even better, he’ll come to you with problems. Problems he’s having with his new girlfriend. Be interested, but you still can’t bad mouth her (but let him do it all that he wants). Take notes on what he likes and dislikes about her, so you can exploit this information a little bit later on.
Over time, your connection will transcend emails and phone calls, and your exboyfriend will want to see you. You’ll want to see him too. There are ways to arrange meeting up with him, but hopefully he ask you to lunch or coffee. This type of reunion date should happen somewhere neutral, where you can both just talk and be yourselves. Keeping it casual is key here, as is being comfortable around him. You’ll both be a little nervous to see each other again after all this time, but that’s okay. Don’t discuss the past, unless it’s something great that the two of you shared together. If it is, work on polishing up that memory with him. When you finish your reunion date, you want to leave your ex wanting more. Seeing him again is important, because with each successive meeting you’ll grow closer and closer… and all the while, he’ll be hiding these things from his girlfriend.
Eventually, you’ll make your move – and that move will be turning your newfound friendship back into romance. By now you should be watching your ex’s body language, looking for signs that he’s ready to be with you again. Any time you see these you should be giving your ex the same green light. When the moment of intimate contact happens again, you’ll both feel some serious sparks. These are the old electric feelings from your previous relationship flowing through you, enhanced by the forbiddenness of going behind the back of your exboyfriend’s new girl.
If you get intimate enough that you sleep with your ex boyfriend, understand that fully getting back together may take some time. He might not be ready to break up with his current girlfriend just yet, but if your ex is showing signs of interest in doing so you should be patient. After all, you’ve come a long way already… don’t rush him in the last few moments. You want your boyfriend to feel as if getting back together was his own idea. If he thinks you strong-armed him into doing it, he might resent the decision.
About the Author: These are only some of the steps to getting your
ex back from another girl
. And to see what to do next? Check out
Get Back An Ex Boyfriend